"I ran into him in the hallway my first week, his first day. We were both so wary, he set off my instincts, and I almost tried to hit him, stone cold, out of nowhere, just for looking like a predator. I caught myself thinking it, and started laughing, and so did he. We've been close since."
Rey smiles a little at that, because if there's any way to meet up with someone again that seems like not a bad way to do it.
Of course, her first one on one meeting with the only person from her world she knows here had involved stopping him going on a rampage during the mess with the explosions and dragging him to Zero on his first day, so probably anything is better than that.
"When you say he's enthusiastic," Rey starts, moving her staff out of the way so she can settle in her seat more comfortably, "what exactly do you mean?"
After a moment of considering that, Rey shakes her head.
"I try not to doubt this place," she says quietly. "I can't, I need it to work just like everyone else. But then I start hearing things like that and I can't help wondering if the Admiral actually knows what he's doing."
She says, immediately, shifting to a slower pace in her truck, so she can focus on what she's saying a little better.
"You can't be a warden here and not have questions. Part of your job, when you're assigned an inmate, is going to be to protect them from the things that happen here, fighting tooth and nail and with every bone in your body. Most of us begin to resent, or even hate the system, as it is- just think of it this way. You're here to save one person. Leaving won't do a thing for them."
There's no considering for that, she says it immediately and with conviction. She can't leave. She'll fight her way back if she's taken before she's finished here, tooth and nail just like Furiosa said. It's the only way she knows how to fight, so at least there's something comforting about that being what's expected of her.
Tommy isn't much of a surprise after the breach and their conversations even before that, but Furiosa offering herself as a source of comfort does surprise Rey. Her eyes go wide, her mouth even drops open a little, and it takes her a second to collect herself.
"You don't even know me," she finally says, and the engines are so loud it almost gets lost in the noise with how quiet her voice is.
She tells her, glancing sideways at her, and admitting;
"And I have- beliefs, that I grew up with, about women and other women, particularly older women with younger. You work here, with me, that means we're on the same road, and I've been on it a few months longer than you. That means we're in it with one another."
Again, it's not what Rey is expecting. It sounds so true, and if Tommy trusts this woman enough to want Rey to meet her that's got to mean something. But there's more to it than that, something Rey never really expected to find.
"No one has ever said that to me and meant it," she admits, because that's what has her so unsure about this when there's a part of her deep down that just wants to accept it. "No one helps each other on Jakku, you're lucky if someone moves your body if you drop dead in the sand."
But Furiosa means it, and she's starting to learn to trust people here. Putting her faith in them is still difficult, but it's a step she wants to learn to take.
"If were in it together, that means this goes both ways. You have to let me help you too."
"I'll try not to be. I've never asked for help before."
She's never had anyone to ask for help, so dealing with her own problems is just something Rey does without considering other paths to take. It's been her, only her, since she was five years old and that's a habit that won't be easily broken.
With support from someone like Furiosa, though, it doesn't seem quite so impossible.
"You get used to it more quickly than you think strictly possible. Someone here once told me that we all are likely to underestimate our ability to change- inmates and wardens alike."
She says, with a thin smile.
"That's my last bit of advice- expect to feel yourself change. Don't resent it. You're asking them to, after all."
"I think I've changed a great deal. I know how to express things now that I would never have been able to say at home. I've never had trouble reaching others- but I've been allowed to know so many. That's been new. And it's made me different."
Rey knows absolutely that she came here scowling and wary and that's just recently something that's started to fade. It took her nearly a month and a half to even start considering people here people she liked, and one or two have become people who might be friends, but for the most part? She's just not good at being around a lot of people.
"I don't see much of a scowl now," Rey says, smiling a little as she glances towards the other woman. "In fact, I think I'd call you nice."
That makes her laugh- not because it isn't true, but because it maybe is. She was often good back home, but she was never precisely nice. But here, she has had a chance to learn the edges of it. She can still be brusque, and temperamental, but she has certainly learned how to be supportive as well.
"Tommy has stories. You have my permission to ask him for any of them."
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2016-04-06 07:43 am (UTC)Furiosa seems like the type that would keep an eye on someone she cared about.
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Date: 2016-04-06 10:45 am (UTC)She admits, sitting up, scanning the road ahead.
"I ran into him in the hallway my first week, his first day. We were both so wary, he set off my instincts, and I almost tried to hit him, stone cold, out of nowhere, just for looking like a predator. I caught myself thinking it, and started laughing, and so did he. We've been close since."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-06 06:19 pm (UTC)Of course, her first one on one meeting with the only person from her world she knows here had involved stopping him going on a rampage during the mess with the explosions and dragging him to Zero on his first day, so probably anything is better than that.
"When you say he's enthusiastic," Rey starts, moving her staff out of the way so she can settle in her seat more comfortably, "what exactly do you mean?"
no subject
Date: 2016-04-09 08:31 pm (UTC)It'll be a lot clearer than Furiosa trying to put the words together.
"He died saving my life. But, he's here as an inmate."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-09 08:40 pm (UTC)"I try not to doubt this place," she says quietly. "I can't, I need it to work just like everyone else. But then I start hearing things like that and I can't help wondering if the Admiral actually knows what he's doing."
So far all signs are pointing to no.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 04:19 pm (UTC)She says, immediately, shifting to a slower pace in her truck, so she can focus on what she's saying a little better.
"You can't be a warden here and not have questions. Part of your job, when you're assigned an inmate, is going to be to protect them from the things that happen here, fighting tooth and nail and with every bone in your body. Most of us begin to resent, or even hate the system, as it is- just think of it this way. You're here to save one person. Leaving won't do a thing for them."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 05:13 pm (UTC)There's no considering for that, she says it immediately and with conviction. She can't leave. She'll fight her way back if she's taken before she's finished here, tooth and nail just like Furiosa said. It's the only way she knows how to fight, so at least there's something comforting about that being what's expected of her.
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Date: 2016-04-11 12:30 am (UTC)Is what she means.
"Tommy and I in particular, but the others, as well."
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Date: 2016-04-11 09:27 pm (UTC)"You don't even know me," she finally says, and the engines are so loud it almost gets lost in the noise with how quiet her voice is.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-11 10:11 pm (UTC)She tells her, glancing sideways at her, and admitting;
"And I have- beliefs, that I grew up with, about women and other women, particularly older women with younger. You work here, with me, that means we're on the same road, and I've been on it a few months longer than you. That means we're in it with one another."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-11 11:54 pm (UTC)"No one has ever said that to me and meant it," she admits, because that's what has her so unsure about this when there's a part of her deep down that just wants to accept it. "No one helps each other on Jakku, you're lucky if someone moves your body if you drop dead in the sand."
But Furiosa means it, and she's starting to learn to trust people here. Putting her faith in them is still difficult, but it's a step she wants to learn to take.
"If were in it together, that means this goes both ways. You have to let me help you too."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-12 12:47 pm (UTC)She agrees, with an approving nod.
"We're doing the impossible, here. It takes standing on one anothers' shoulders."
Which she trusts. Believes in. Wants to relearn, since the last few years haven't precisely given her the chance for it.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-12 10:09 pm (UTC)She's never had anyone to ask for help, so dealing with her own problems is just something Rey does without considering other paths to take. It's been her, only her, since she was five years old and that's a habit that won't be easily broken.
With support from someone like Furiosa, though, it doesn't seem quite so impossible.
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Date: 2016-04-13 01:29 pm (UTC)She says, with a thin smile.
"That's my last bit of advice- expect to feel yourself change. Don't resent it. You're asking them to, after all."
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Date: 2016-04-17 07:39 pm (UTC)She surprises herself a little, admitting that, but it is true.
"Do you think you've changed much since coming here?"
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Date: 2016-04-17 10:44 pm (UTC)She admits, thinking it over.
"I think I came here scowling and wary."
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Date: 2016-04-18 12:51 am (UTC)"I don't see much of a scowl now," Rey says, smiling a little as she glances towards the other woman. "In fact, I think I'd call you nice."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-18 03:02 am (UTC)"Tommy has stories. You have my permission to ask him for any of them."