[That stills her, makes her frown. She doesn't . . .]
[What does it mean? Well, one of two things, she thinks. Either Rey has split from her family and ceded her name, or she never had a family at all. It's incomprehensible. Family is everything. It must be for everyone as it is for her.]
[Her own hesitation makes her wary. And yet — she knows what it is she's seeing in Rey. She's seen it, in one form or another, in mirrors and windows and the backs of silver spoons. She knows.]
[It's too painful, knowing what she could have had if she hadn't been left on a dead planet filled with dead ships in the hands of someone who would have happily let her starve to death. Now she knows what it feels like to have a sister, to have people who felt less like employers and more like a mother and father towards the end.
She knows what it feels like to be held and kissed and to hear the man she loved whisper in her ear that he loved her, too.
And now it's gone, and she feels cold. Empty. Of course she doesn't want to remember it.]
But that doesn't change the fact that you helped me. You were kind to me, and I... what you kept from happening...
[She wouldn't be able to stand it, knowing she'd let Kylo Ren close enough to touch her again, that she had chosen to spend time with him because it was easier than causing a scene when the last thing Theodosia needed was more attention on what was happening to her. She doesn't know if Lila really understands what that means, what she's saved Rey from, but even if she doesn't want the memories the gratitude remains.]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2016-04-01 08:56 am (UTC)[That stills her, makes her frown. She doesn't . . .]
[What does it mean? Well, one of two things, she thinks. Either Rey has split from her family and ceded her name, or she never had a family at all. It's incomprehensible. Family is everything. It must be for everyone as it is for her.]
[Her own hesitation makes her wary. And yet — she knows what it is she's seeing in Rey. She's seen it, in one form or another, in mirrors and windows and the backs of silver spoons. She knows.]
I wanted to know if I hurt you.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-01 09:05 am (UTC)[Alright, that was about as far from what she expected as Lila could have gotten.]
You didn't. That wasn't me, it was just something this place made up.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-01 08:29 pm (UTC)[Her voice is a little tense, but only because she feels like she's being talked down to.]
But it's you remembering it.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-01 08:46 pm (UTC)[It's too painful, knowing what she could have had if she hadn't been left on a dead planet filled with dead ships in the hands of someone who would have happily let her starve to death. Now she knows what it feels like to have a sister, to have people who felt less like employers and more like a mother and father towards the end.
She knows what it feels like to be held and kissed and to hear the man she loved whisper in her ear that he loved her, too.
And now it's gone, and she feels cold. Empty. Of course she doesn't want to remember it.]
But that doesn't change the fact that you helped me. You were kind to me, and I... what you kept from happening...
[She wouldn't be able to stand it, knowing she'd let Kylo Ren close enough to touch her again, that she had chosen to spend time with him because it was easier than causing a scene when the last thing Theodosia needed was more attention on what was happening to her. She doesn't know if Lila really understands what that means, what she's saved Rey from, but even if she doesn't want the memories the gratitude remains.]