Library's fine. I'll be on the second floor next to the Grisham thrillers.
[She actually doesn't know if those exist on the Barge, but you know what, it's hilarious and apropos, and even if they're not there, she knows she can find Rey sooner or later.]
[She doesn't bother saying see you there or anything like that. She just goes, settles herself in the most comfortable armchair there with her knees tucked under her and her hands folded lazily in her lap.]
[Even if they were there, they wouldn't be much of a reference point to Rey, but she can find the second floor easy enough and it doesn't take long to find Lila sitting there and looking kind of like she owns the place.
Which isn't a surprise, if her memories from the breach match up with the kind of person Lila is in every day life. Sliding her staff off her shoulder, Rey props it up against a wall and sits down across from Lila.]
[There's no response to the bared teeth, because this is immediately something Rey recognizes. A challenge, and a warning to keep her distance. From the topic, or from Lila herself, but either way growing up on Jakku has made Rey all too familiar with what defensiveness looks like.]
I'm just Rey.
[She says it mildly and leans back in her chair, ceding a little more space to this girl like it means nothing to let her have more.]
[That stills her, makes her frown. She doesn't . . .]
[What does it mean? Well, one of two things, she thinks. Either Rey has split from her family and ceded her name, or she never had a family at all. It's incomprehensible. Family is everything. It must be for everyone as it is for her.]
[Her own hesitation makes her wary. And yet — she knows what it is she's seeing in Rey. She's seen it, in one form or another, in mirrors and windows and the backs of silver spoons. She knows.]
[It's too painful, knowing what she could have had if she hadn't been left on a dead planet filled with dead ships in the hands of someone who would have happily let her starve to death. Now she knows what it feels like to have a sister, to have people who felt less like employers and more like a mother and father towards the end.
She knows what it feels like to be held and kissed and to hear the man she loved whisper in her ear that he loved her, too.
And now it's gone, and she feels cold. Empty. Of course she doesn't want to remember it.]
But that doesn't change the fact that you helped me. You were kind to me, and I... what you kept from happening...
[She wouldn't be able to stand it, knowing she'd let Kylo Ren close enough to touch her again, that she had chosen to spend time with him because it was easier than causing a scene when the last thing Theodosia needed was more attention on what was happening to her. She doesn't know if Lila really understands what that means, what she's saved Rey from, but even if she doesn't want the memories the gratitude remains.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[She actually doesn't know if those exist on the Barge, but you know what, it's hilarious and apropos, and even if they're not there, she knows she can find Rey sooner or later.]
[She doesn't bother saying see you there or anything like that. She just goes, settles herself in the most comfortable armchair there with her knees tucked under her and her hands folded lazily in her lap.]
no subject
Which isn't a surprise, if her memories from the breach match up with the kind of person Lila is in every day life. Sliding her staff off her shoulder, Rey props it up against a wall and sits down across from Lila.]
Lila, right?
no subject
[It doesn't fit. She stares at the staff for a moment, purses her lips.]
Yeah.
[There's a beat, and her lips draw back from her teeth in a wordless snarl; then:]
Zacharov.
[Not Shelby, not Kishibe. Zacharov. Her name. It's hers.]
no subject
I'm just Rey.
[She says it mildly and leans back in her chair, ceding a little more space to this girl like it means nothing to let her have more.]
You wanted something.
no subject
[That stills her, makes her frown. She doesn't . . .]
[What does it mean? Well, one of two things, she thinks. Either Rey has split from her family and ceded her name, or she never had a family at all. It's incomprehensible. Family is everything. It must be for everyone as it is for her.]
[Her own hesitation makes her wary. And yet — she knows what it is she's seeing in Rey. She's seen it, in one form or another, in mirrors and windows and the backs of silver spoons. She knows.]
I wanted to know if I hurt you.
no subject
[Alright, that was about as far from what she expected as Lila could have gotten.]
You didn't. That wasn't me, it was just something this place made up.
no subject
[Her voice is a little tense, but only because she feels like she's being talked down to.]
But it's you remembering it.
no subject
[It's too painful, knowing what she could have had if she hadn't been left on a dead planet filled with dead ships in the hands of someone who would have happily let her starve to death. Now she knows what it feels like to have a sister, to have people who felt less like employers and more like a mother and father towards the end.
She knows what it feels like to be held and kissed and to hear the man she loved whisper in her ear that he loved her, too.
And now it's gone, and she feels cold. Empty. Of course she doesn't want to remember it.]
But that doesn't change the fact that you helped me. You were kind to me, and I... what you kept from happening...
[She wouldn't be able to stand it, knowing she'd let Kylo Ren close enough to touch her again, that she had chosen to spend time with him because it was easier than causing a scene when the last thing Theodosia needed was more attention on what was happening to her. She doesn't know if Lila really understands what that means, what she's saved Rey from, but even if she doesn't want the memories the gratitude remains.]