It's the fact that she feels fear, real fear, settling cold in her stomach and making her feel numb again that makes her realize just how much she does feel for Tommy. The rejection she expects when his hand stops doesn't come, it's just his voice gentle and, she thinks, maybe a little hopeful.
But maybe not. She doesn't want to guess anything, can't assume anything, not when she isn't even sure what all of this means. She likes it when he touches her and he knows it, she likes being with him and he knows it, and now she knows that in the same way he sees a side of her no one else does, no one else gets to be like this with him.
"I know," she answers him softly, hand reaching up to where his is on her neck so she can slip her fingers between his, link their hands together on the back of her neck because she can't reach him any other way right now. "I thought that the person I was during the breach, I could never be that. I wouldn't ever find a way to be that happy, that open. She was capable of caring so much, and I knew I wasn't like that. That's why I told you I'd never be that person."
And she'd meant it, and she still does. She still isn't sure she can ever turn out like that, but...
"But I can see how it happened now. I can see how she changed, and it was thanks to the man you were."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2016-05-09 07:47 am (UTC)But maybe not. She doesn't want to guess anything, can't assume anything, not when she isn't even sure what all of this means. She likes it when he touches her and he knows it, she likes being with him and he knows it, and now she knows that in the same way he sees a side of her no one else does, no one else gets to be like this with him.
"I know," she answers him softly, hand reaching up to where his is on her neck so she can slip her fingers between his, link their hands together on the back of her neck because she can't reach him any other way right now. "I thought that the person I was during the breach, I could never be that. I wouldn't ever find a way to be that happy, that open. She was capable of caring so much, and I knew I wasn't like that. That's why I told you I'd never be that person."
And she'd meant it, and she still does. She still isn't sure she can ever turn out like that, but...
"But I can see how it happened now. I can see how she changed, and it was thanks to the man you were."