[For a very long time, there's no answer. She knew that it would be hard to withstand how terrible it feels to have his disapproval, but there's some sinking part of her that feels like she's losing him for a choice she doesn't regret making and would make again if it came up.
And it hurts, that she's struggled so many years to survive and still tries to do the right things instead of the easy things, but all people see is a girl who let her rage bring her down to the level of a mindless animal. She thought that maybe, because he's who he is, that he might understand.]
Is it impossible that I might have done it for myself, and not just for you? Do you know what it's like to watch someone die in front of you and vow to save them, only to have them die on you again? Do you have any idea how helpless that might make you feel?
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branchandroot
voice;
Date: 2016-05-04 06:42 pm (UTC)And it hurts, that she's struggled so many years to survive and still tries to do the right things instead of the easy things, but all people see is a girl who let her rage bring her down to the level of a mindless animal. She thought that maybe, because he's who he is, that he might understand.]
Is it impossible that I might have done it for myself, and not just for you? Do you know what it's like to watch someone die in front of you and vow to save them, only to have them die on you again? Do you have any idea how helpless that might make you feel?