Was. And anyways, he wasn't good enough. He's dead now, he's a dead man because this stupid fucking place believes that life is simple, and that our choices are easy.
[He says, pressing his hands against his face, fingertips on his cheekbones, as he clears his throat and sits up.]
[Is. This place is weird, it does things that make no sense, and so she can't just give up on the people who were here when they could possibly come back.
But she won't argue it now. She just comes over to sit beside him, opens up the bottle, and hands it right to him.]
I was going to offer to hug you but I think you'll get more out of insulting me for awhile, so we'll go with that.
[It's hard to care about it when she knows she's terrible at anything having to do with comfort, that it's just dumb luck that let her figure out how to handle Tommy, and honestly if this helps him after his friend has gone she's fine with it.]
[It's not what he says that has her looking over at him sharply. She knows he's a violent man, he'd told her conversationally that he would kill her at one point, so that just there doesn't surprise her.
It's the way his voice sounds that spikes concern in her, but she keeps her hands to herself. She reaches for the bottle of rum instead, picks it up and puts it back in his hands.
She doesn't know what to say to that, so she just chooses to keep her mouth shut.]
A few times. Last time we spoke we went to the pub while he was death tolling. I made him laugh.
[She says that last part softly, because it's something she's done so rarely that every time she manages to make a joke on purpose and get the right reaction it sticks with her, makes her feel a little less like someone who waited for nearly twenty years for her life to start.]
[She rests her hand, very briefly, on his arm. It's just a brush of her fingers and then it's gone, but she had to do something. If he tries to strangle her it'll probably be worth it.]
No, Rey- I need you to try. I know it's impossible, I know nothing can fucking come of it, but on the off chance it can, please, try, because this is fucking killing me- take the long shot, tilt at the windmill, I know it might feel foolish, but I need you to-
[For a moment, she just stares at him, eyes on his as she takes him in. She's known, for awhile, that this place is weighing on him. She understands that Harry going must have been the final straw, the thing that made trying bear all of this impossible.
She's done the impossible before. She has the Force on her side, more of a grasp on it thanks her time here, training with Luke, figuring things out on her own. After a long moment of thinking and chewing on her lower lip, she stands up so she can pace just in front of where he's seated. She thinks better when she's moving.]
Tell me everything you know about how people leave here.
[She's still thinking about it, though. Things made in the Enclosure disappear when taken out of it so trying to crash the Falcon through the walls of the Barge doesn't seem like it would work...
But when she looks at Alfie again she stops, watches him get comfortable. And she hates herself for this, for making everything worse, but she doesn't see how waiting, putting it off will make it any easier.]
I- This isn't a good time and I'm sorry, but I wanted to tell you this first before I tell the rest of the ship. Tommy's in a coma. He fell asleep this morning and hasn't moved since.
[She absolutely agrees with that, albeit for entirely different reasons, so she nods even though his eyes are closed and finally comes back to sit next to him again.]
He caused you lot of problems with that back home, too?
[It's easy enough to tell that that's not going to be a conversation they have now, so Rey just looks Alfie over, the way he's laying, and decides to try again.]
I can show you were to press yourself to help with your back if you don't want me to do it.
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[He says, pressing his hands against his face, fingertips on his cheekbones, as he clears his throat and sits up.]
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But she won't argue it now. She just comes over to sit beside him, opens up the bottle, and hands it right to him.]
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Fuck me, I'm not as young as I used to be.
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[It feels odd to offer that to a man so much older than her, but here they are.]
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[Alfie tells her, dryly.]
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[Just in case she was wondering.]
Fucking shocking, honestly.
[But, considering this is his version of being comforting, perhaps he doesn't get to talk.
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[It's hard to care about it when she knows she's terrible at anything having to do with comfort, that it's just dumb luck that let her figure out how to handle Tommy, and honestly if this helps him after his friend has gone she's fine with it.]
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[He admits, voice cracking.]
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It's the way his voice sounds that spikes concern in her, but she keeps her hands to herself. She reaches for the bottle of rum instead, picks it up and puts it back in his hands.
She doesn't know what to say to that, so she just chooses to keep her mouth shut.]
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Once he swallows;]
Did you meet him much?
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A few times. Last time we spoke we went to the pub while he was death tolling. I made him laugh.
[She says that last part softly, because it's something she's done so rarely that every time she manages to make a joke on purpose and get the right reaction it sticks with her, makes her feel a little less like someone who waited for nearly twenty years for her life to start.]
I liked him.
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[Alfie agrees, letting his eyes close.]
I'm going to miss him an awful lot.
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Is there anything I can do?
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[He says, again, head tipping forwards to rest against his arm.
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The closest I can get is going to the Enclosure. You can make it look like London, or I can teach you to fly a ship.
[Something familiar or something entirely new, she thinks one of those might help.]
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[To be willing to risk making a fool of herself.]
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She's done the impossible before. She has the Force on her side, more of a grasp on it thanks her time here, training with Luke, figuring things out on her own. After a long moment of thinking and chewing on her lower lip, she stands up so she can pace just in front of where he's seated. She thinks better when she's moving.]
Tell me everything you know about how people leave here.
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The point is that she'll try, so Alfie leans soundlessly over to lie down on the bunk, completely trusting. Her spine is safe from him.]
Tomorrow. For now, let's just-
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But when she looks at Alfie again she stops, watches him get comfortable. And she hates herself for this, for making everything worse, but she doesn't see how waiting, putting it off will make it any easier.]
I- This isn't a good time and I'm sorry, but I wanted to tell you this first before I tell the rest of the ship. Tommy's in a coma. He fell asleep this morning and hasn't moved since.
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[Alfie curses, eyes still shut.]
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He caused you lot of problems with that back home, too?
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[He can't think of anything specific right now, but sort of holds everything against him, at the moment, up to and including his back pain.]
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I can show you were to press yourself to help with your back if you don't want me to do it.
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