The past week has not been easy on either of them. She really feels like she's slowly dying with the way she just feels cold all the time, the way all she wants to do is sleep, but Tommy has kept her inside, kept the rest of the ship safe from her, and she knows she'll never be able to repay that gift.
He's kept her from really becoming a monster and she's hardly ever awake long enough to thank him for it.
Even now, her cold hands in his, her eyes are closed while she listens to him speak. It takes her a long time to find a memory that will fit that description, and when it becomes too much work to keep her head up she just gives up and leans it against his shoulder while she speaks.
"I rebuilt a spaceship by myself for six months," she mumbles, grasping for the details to tell a more complete story. "It was a Ghtroc Industries 690 freighter that had crashed and it..." she trails off there, like she forgets she's telling the story, but then it comes back to her. "The power should have been drained but it still worked."
He tries not to think of it like that. He tries not to think of her dying, of her being so ill that the world is slowly taking her from him-- when he's only just found her.
It would be poetic. Tragic. But Tommy is not a literary man.
He strokes her hair and hums softly to keep her awake. He can feel her coldness seep through the blanket. "Why did you rebuild it instead of selling it for parts?"
"It still worked," she repeats, sounding a little stunned by that fact still. "No one ever find intact, still powered ships on Jakku. It was a once in a lifetime thing, worth more... if it worked, if it could be sold."
She smiles, just a little bit, and strokes a hand along his arm.
"I was gonna get enough food for a year."
Not use it to fly away, escape Jakku. Trade for food to stay there longer waiting for people he knows never came for her. He's seen the metal wall with all the scratches, he knows how long she waited.
"Enough food for a year," he muses, as he trails his fingertips over her arm, hoping to get a different kind of shiver out of her. Nothing sexual, but something that doesn't have to do with the cold.
It works, gets her to curl a little closer to him. She'd been so afraid to touch him even awake once her body had gone through this most recent change, terrified she'd hurt him, but he's shown her that she's safe, as long as she's awake. She's not so afraid of touching him as long as she's not sleeping.
With that in mind, she forces herself to open her eyes.
"No, the full repair took longer," she says, blinking a little to try to think more clearly. "I just got caught after six months. Two other scavengers found out about my ship and my options were let them work with me and split the profits or have the ship stolen out from under me in the night."
She shakes her head, not wanting him to get his hopes up. They weren't her friends, not in the end.
"They stole the ship later," she says. "Out from under me in broad daylight after it was fixed. I went to haggle with Unkar Plutt and the next thing I knew..."
She trails off there, stifling a yawn and letting her eyes fall closed.
"Poe... He rescued Finn," she says, and that might be a little troubling because she's told him that before but she just keeps right on going like this is new information. "Gave him his name. We're going to race in the Enclosure, when I'm better. You can come, cheer for me."
She's so tired, her body has been telling her it needs to be asleep at all times and she's been doing her best to fight that and stay lucid because of exactly this. She doesn't want to miss moments like this, moments with Tommy when he looks so excited about a life they'll start together when they leave here.
So she forces her eyes to stay open, covers his hand on her cheek with her own and gives him another exhausted smile.
"Your brothers will tease you," she guesses, because she's heard enough to know that will absolutely be the case. "I may just let them."
"Fuck 'em. They'll tease me regardless, might as well be because I've got
the best girl in the multiverse on me arm," he says, shifting to kiss the
palm of her hand.
Of course, in the past few days he's been worried sick- something Nina said
when he caught her sleepwalking. But he's not going to bother her with that
until she's better.
And as poorly as Rey has been doing, she hasn't even noticed. It's something she'll feel bad for later, but it's also going to be just one more drop in bucket because it seems to her like everything these last few months has been something to make him worry about her.
She hates that, honestly.
"I wish we were still on the island," she says quietly, eyes fluttering shut despite how hard she tries to keep them open. They were happy there, and she was warm, and she could see a real sky whenever she looked up instead of stars that weren't real or metal ceilings.
She curls into him easily, like she's always been meant to fit there and it just took the Barge to put them together to give her the chance to claim her place.
"Yes," she agrees at once, because she honestly can't remember a time in her life she's been happier than when they were curled up on a blanket together watching the sun come up. "Are there places like that in- England?" She takes a second to remember the right name of the place he's from, tries to get it to sound a little more natural on her tongue if she's going to be living there.
"No," he says, frankly- because there aren't. "We don't have the right
climate there. It's wet, and a little too dark and cold. No sandy beaches
in Birmingham."
He sounds a little sorry for it, like he's whisking her off somewhere
worse.
"Mm, that's okay," she murmurs softly, rubbing a hand along his arm to keep him from sounding like he's letting her down. "We can travel. See your world together."
She likes the idea of that, of it being new for both of them.
That's much better. She smiles softly, tucks herself into the last little bit of space that had been left between them.
"I'm getting better at riding," she says, just suggestive enough to make it a joke. They haven't done that since she got worse because she's been too afraid of hurting him, too afraid of what might happen, and if they talk about it it keeps it from being something that feels like a failure on her part. She doesn't feel bad for not being able to sleep with him, but she does miss it. It's just one more thing this sickness is keeping her from and she resents it for keeping her from doing what she'd like to be doing with him.
Which, she thinks, makes sense. They've just recently confessed their love, all she wants to do is show that.
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He's kept her from really becoming a monster and she's hardly ever awake long enough to thank him for it.
Even now, her cold hands in his, her eyes are closed while she listens to him speak. It takes her a long time to find a memory that will fit that description, and when it becomes too much work to keep her head up she just gives up and leans it against his shoulder while she speaks.
"I rebuilt a spaceship by myself for six months," she mumbles, grasping for the details to tell a more complete story. "It was a Ghtroc Industries 690 freighter that had crashed and it..." she trails off there, like she forgets she's telling the story, but then it comes back to her. "The power should have been drained but it still worked."
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It would be poetic. Tragic. But Tommy is not a literary man.
He strokes her hair and hums softly to keep her awake. He can feel her coldness seep through the blanket. "Why did you rebuild it instead of selling it for parts?"
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She smiles, just a little bit, and strokes a hand along his arm.
"I was gonna get enough food for a year."
Not use it to fly away, escape Jakku. Trade for food to stay there longer waiting for people he knows never came for her. He's seen the metal wall with all the scratches, he knows how long she waited.
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"And it took you half a year, my love?"
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With that in mind, she forces herself to open her eyes.
"No, the full repair took longer," she says, blinking a little to try to think more clearly. "I just got caught after six months. Two other scavengers found out about my ship and my options were let them work with me and split the profits or have the ship stolen out from under me in the night."
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"They stole the ship later," she says. "Out from under me in broad daylight after it was fixed. I went to haggle with Unkar Plutt and the next thing I knew..."
She trails off there, stifling a yawn and letting her eyes fall closed.
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"Tell me about your friend Poe."
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He's glad her eyes are closed, now, because it means she can't see the pained expression on his face.
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And she smiles, burrows in a little closer to him.
"I'm glad he's here. I like the others, but they don't know me."
Or they happen to be Kylo Ren and he doesn't count.
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A little flirty, but he can deal with that. He kisses her temple, tightens the blanket around her.
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Because she can guess what he was thinking even in this state.
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"Good. Because I think that out of everyone on this ship, I like you the best."
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"I hope so, or you'll be miserable when you take me home with you.
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So she forces her eyes to stay open, covers his hand on her cheek with her own and gives him another exhausted smile.
"Your brothers will tease you," she guesses, because she's heard enough to know that will absolutely be the case. "I may just let them."
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"Fuck 'em. They'll tease me regardless, might as well be because I've got the best girl in the multiverse on me arm," he says, shifting to kiss the palm of her hand.
Of course, in the past few days he's been worried sick- something Nina said when he caught her sleepwalking. But he's not going to bother her with that until she's better.
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She hates that, honestly.
"I wish we were still on the island," she says quietly, eyes fluttering shut despite how hard she tries to keep them open. They were happy there, and she was warm, and she could see a real sky whenever she looked up instead of stars that weren't real or metal ceilings.
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"I know, love," he whispers, nuzzling into her hair and shifting her so she can come and sit on his lap a little more.
"Me too. But we had a good time while it lasted, didn't we?"
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"Yes," she agrees at once, because she honestly can't remember a time in her life she's been happier than when they were curled up on a blanket together watching the sun come up. "Are there places like that in- England?" She takes a second to remember the right name of the place he's from, tries to get it to sound a little more natural on her tongue if she's going to be living there.
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"No," he says, frankly- because there aren't. "We don't have the right climate there. It's wet, and a little too dark and cold. No sandy beaches in Birmingham."
He sounds a little sorry for it, like he's whisking her off somewhere worse.
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She likes the idea of that, of it being new for both of them.
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He sounds like he could very well live with that idea.
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"I'm getting better at riding," she says, just suggestive enough to make it a joke. They haven't done that since she got worse because she's been too afraid of hurting him, too afraid of what might happen, and if they talk about it it keeps it from being something that feels like a failure on her part. She doesn't feel bad for not being able to sleep with him, but she does miss it. It's just one more thing this sickness is keeping her from and she resents it for keeping her from doing what she'd like to be doing with him.
Which, she thinks, makes sense. They've just recently confessed their love, all she wants to do is show that.