Rey has been trying to avoid thinking about all of it as much as she could too, but she hasn't been hiding herself. She's gone on about life as normal to show she isn't hurt by all of that loss, all of the things she'd wanted in life being snatched away like they never mattered, were never hers to begin with.
She had never been particularly interested in love, not even when Finn had been asking her if she'd had a boyfriend on Jakku. It was always a waste of time, her life had no place for something as delicate as love in it when every day was a struggle just to feed herself. When she'd left Finn in his coma it had been with a kiss pressed to his forehead, but she wouldn't have called it love.
Now she's felt it, gone through it from the very start, and she knows what she's missing. At first glance she wouldn't have picked Tommy out of a crowd and said he'd be a good choice for a woman to fall in love with, but the way he was during the breach... It's been a distraction, the way she's had to fight to push all of that to the back of her mind, but when they're both frozen in the hallway everything comes rushing back and she has the most natural urge to fit herself into his arms and steal a kiss.
She can't do that. That wasn't her, and it wasn't him. They aren't those people. It's going to take her a long time to sort out her feelings, but she does like Tommy as a person. She wants this to work, if it still can. That's why, shoulders squared, she starts towards him and hopes her face doesn't look as grim as she feels. She tries a smile once she's close enough and something warm floods her stomach when it sticks, but she can't think of that. She just... she can't.
"Should we speak?" She asks, unsure if he'll even want anything to do with her anymore.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2016-03-28 06:38 pm (UTC)She had never been particularly interested in love, not even when Finn had been asking her if she'd had a boyfriend on Jakku. It was always a waste of time, her life had no place for something as delicate as love in it when every day was a struggle just to feed herself. When she'd left Finn in his coma it had been with a kiss pressed to his forehead, but she wouldn't have called it love.
Now she's felt it, gone through it from the very start, and she knows what she's missing. At first glance she wouldn't have picked Tommy out of a crowd and said he'd be a good choice for a woman to fall in love with, but the way he was during the breach... It's been a distraction, the way she's had to fight to push all of that to the back of her mind, but when they're both frozen in the hallway everything comes rushing back and she has the most natural urge to fit herself into his arms and steal a kiss.
She can't do that. That wasn't her, and it wasn't him. They aren't those people. It's going to take her a long time to sort out her feelings, but she does like Tommy as a person. She wants this to work, if it still can. That's why, shoulders squared, she starts towards him and hopes her face doesn't look as grim as she feels. She tries a smile once she's close enough and something warm floods her stomach when it sticks, but she can't think of that. She just... she can't.
"Should we speak?" She asks, unsure if he'll even want anything to do with her anymore.