She listens to him, really listens, because Alfie has made her realize that maybe that doesn't happen here. That wardens don't listen, they take what they know and they impress that on anyone who gets in their way with no ability to change their perceptions.
A lot of what Lark says lines up with the basics of what Steve had said. Wardens should be kept to a higher standard, they both expect better of her.
She was a child that grew up in the sand alone. All she knows how to do is fight and keep herself alive. Compassion is something she was never taught, and it's something she's still learning. People like Luke, like Tommy, they're helping, but she still has a long way to go and she knows that. The better they expect of her is something she's still learning to be.
"When I came here, it was just for my deal. I've been alone my entire life and I thought Han Solo might be able to change that. He was like the father I never had, and I watched his own son put a lightsaber through his chest and all I could do was watch. I came here for him, to bring him back."
Not entirely selfish, but there's no denying it had been her plan to do that and leave.
"His son is here, now, and it made me realize that bringing Han back isn't enough. His son has to change too. What good will it do to bring him back only to have him return to a son that's still lost to the dark side? I'm not just here for Han anymore, and I'm not just here to make sure his son changes. I want to help people. I want-"
But she stops there, abruptly, because she's getting too close to admitting that she doesn't mind the changes she's felt in herself. She doesn't want to tell Lark she's glad she's learned she has the capacity to hold someone like Tommy through a panic attack. That's private, that's hers.
"You said you heard in my explanation that I'm a warden and I beat an inmate badly, and I can't change that. All I can tell you is that I didn't want him to die and I- I'm afraid of the part of me that wanted him to suffer. You can ask Tommy about how I handled it."
no subject
A lot of what Lark says lines up with the basics of what Steve had said. Wardens should be kept to a higher standard, they both expect better of her.
She was a child that grew up in the sand alone. All she knows how to do is fight and keep herself alive. Compassion is something she was never taught, and it's something she's still learning. People like Luke, like Tommy, they're helping, but she still has a long way to go and she knows that. The better they expect of her is something she's still learning to be.
"When I came here, it was just for my deal. I've been alone my entire life and I thought Han Solo might be able to change that. He was like the father I never had, and I watched his own son put a lightsaber through his chest and all I could do was watch. I came here for him, to bring him back."
Not entirely selfish, but there's no denying it had been her plan to do that and leave.
"His son is here, now, and it made me realize that bringing Han back isn't enough. His son has to change too. What good will it do to bring him back only to have him return to a son that's still lost to the dark side? I'm not just here for Han anymore, and I'm not just here to make sure his son changes. I want to help people. I want-"
But she stops there, abruptly, because she's getting too close to admitting that she doesn't mind the changes she's felt in herself. She doesn't want to tell Lark she's glad she's learned she has the capacity to hold someone like Tommy through a panic attack. That's private, that's hers.
"You said you heard in my explanation that I'm a warden and I beat an inmate badly, and I can't change that. All I can tell you is that I didn't want him to die and I- I'm afraid of the part of me that wanted him to suffer. You can ask Tommy about how I handled it."