![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I think we've both found out it doesn't work that way in such a small space.
If it weren't for the ship I wouldn't have stayed anywhere near you, so yes, I can blame the ship.
[Oh don't you exclamation point at her you little shit.
And this is getting to be very tedious, she's reaching the end of her ability to deal with him, so maybe it's time to just get right to the point.]
What do you want from me, Kylo? You know I won't learn from you if all you want to teach me is how to hurt people, so what do you want?
And this is getting to be very tedious, she's reaching the end of her ability to deal with him, so maybe it's time to just get right to the point.]
What do you want from me, Kylo? You know I won't learn from you if all you want to teach me is how to hurt people, so what do you want?
Then I guess we're back to where we started.
[Is that really where you want to leave things Kyle Ron?]
[Is that really where you want to leave things Kyle Ron?]
[And now she has to decide if this is where she leaves well enough alone, where she just stops because that's the healthy thing to do or if she tries to make him think about what his life could be like if he'd just consider looking at things from a different perspective.]
It doesn't have to be that way and you know it.
[If only Rey could ever leave well enough alone.]
It doesn't have to be that way and you know it.
[If only Rey could ever leave well enough alone.]
[WHY WON'T YOU MAKE SENSE FOR ONCE.]
You keep trying to say something and you're talking around it instead. Just say what you mean for once, it's like we're not even having the same conversation.
You keep trying to say something and you're talking around it instead. Just say what you mean for once, it's like we're not even having the same conversation.
He scrapes his throat and jerks his chin at her staff, at her stance.
"That looked very impressive," he comments, vaguely-- rather than say what's really on his mind, what they'll be talking about later. It'll happen: let him ease into it.
"That looked very impressive," he comments, vaguely-- rather than say what's really on his mind, what they'll be talking about later. It'll happen: let him ease into it.
This is easier anyway, so she can't really mind it too much. Talking about fighting is easier than talking about her feelings.
"I've been practicing a long time," she says, hand resting lightly on the end of the staff. "It's not hard to learn, if you wanted to try."
"I've been practicing a long time," she says, hand resting lightly on the end of the staff. "It's not hard to learn, if you wanted to try."
"Not sure how much use it'd be when facing guns," he says, flatly-- unnecessarily cynical, especially when he's just expressed that he found it impressive, but it's what he's used to and that's much easier than talking about something he doesn't know much about.
He takes a long drag of his cigarette, not meeting her eyes. "This happened to me before," he starts, vaguely.
He takes a long drag of his cigarette, not meeting her eyes. "This happened to me before," he starts, vaguely.
She hasn't offered that on her own without prompting before, so the rejection stings more than it should before the slams the door on it. It doesn't matter. None of this means anything. She doesn't look hurt, but if he had been looking at her he'd have seen the way her eyes went just a little harder.
A wall is going up, brick by brick, and she feels uncomfortable standing there motionless so she looks away out towards the stars before she moves the end of her staff out of the way and just sits in one of the chairs. He's launching into this abruptly, so she just waits. Lets him say whatever he's going to say.
A wall is going up, brick by brick, and she feels uncomfortable standing there motionless so she looks away out towards the stars before she moves the end of her staff out of the way and just sits in one of the chairs. He's launching into this abruptly, so she just waits. Lets him say whatever he's going to say.
He can see it, and part of him aches for her, wants to pull her close and say I'm sorry I'm like this, forgive me. But that isn't him; this version of himself doesn't apologize, not for things like this.
"Last time, I didn't resolve it the way I should have. I want to do better." But the implication is clear in his voice: he doesn't know how to. The cigarette is pinched between his fingers, now, almost forgotten in his concentration.
"Last time, I didn't resolve it the way I should have. I want to do better." But the implication is clear in his voice: he doesn't know how to. The cigarette is pinched between his fingers, now, almost forgotten in his concentration.
She's thinking what he is, and she can tell he's struggling and she likes him, this version of him right here in front of him and not just the man from the breach, enough to try to make this a little easier.
"I know it wasn't real," she says, slowly, like she's measuring out the words to find the ones that are right. "I know that person wasn't me, I've never been like that and I never will be like that. I don't expect anything from you."
"I know it wasn't real," she says, slowly, like she's measuring out the words to find the ones that are right. "I know that person wasn't me, I've never been like that and I never will be like that. I don't expect anything from you."
He lets out an audible sigh of relief at that: that's exactly what he'd been afraid of last time, and he's so glad that she's saying it for him. He nods, and finally looks back at her.
"Thank you. I'm not-- good, like he was. And I know that wasn't you, either."
"Thank you. I'm not-- good, like he was. And I know that wasn't you, either."
Alright, that... went better than she expected. She's never had anyone thank her for being cold, sharp, and rude before, but perhaps there's a first time for anything after all. She would disagree with the idea that he were a bad person because a bad man would be taking advantage of the feelings she had had for him, would have gone about this a much meaner way, but she also knows the absence of good doesn't automatically make someone bad.
He's both, just like everyone in the world. Or worlds, as it were. So she nods, accepting of his thanks, and for a moment there's a desire to give him a little more, to tell him that his desire to do better has been fulfilled, that this went fine.
But that wall is still up, even if a few bricks have fallen out of it again. She's not ready to take any more risks yet.
"Nothing has to change. I intend to go on like none of that happened."
Not Tiffany being her sister, not finding a mother in T'Pol, and not falling in love with Tommy. None of it is real and it's better to let it die.
He's both, just like everyone in the world. Or worlds, as it were. So she nods, accepting of his thanks, and for a moment there's a desire to give him a little more, to tell him that his desire to do better has been fulfilled, that this went fine.
But that wall is still up, even if a few bricks have fallen out of it again. She's not ready to take any more risks yet.
"Nothing has to change. I intend to go on like none of that happened."
Not Tiffany being her sister, not finding a mother in T'Pol, and not falling in love with Tommy. None of it is real and it's better to let it die.
"Do you think," he starts, and then hunches down again before he finally makes himself sit down-- two beds removed from her, of course, because it won't do to be too close. He stubs out his cigarette, grinds it down underneath his booth before rubbing a hand over his mouth.
"Do you think there's a reason for these things? Why the breaches go the way they do?"
"Do you think there's a reason for these things? Why the breaches go the way they do?"
And now he's surprised her again by staying when he could have left and she would have understood. Maybe she was right after all, maybe things really won't change.
For all her insistence that she was going to pretend nothing had been between them, there's still an ache in her at all that distance between them. This is going to take longer than she thought to shake.
"I don't know," she answers honestly, and she stands up again once he's sitting because she just- she can't be still. The staff comes off and she picks up the form she had abandoned, going through the motions of it as she thinks. "Maybe the Admiral thinks forcing people to experience things like this will change the inmates in some way that will make them better."
For all her insistence that she was going to pretend nothing had been between them, there's still an ache in her at all that distance between them. This is going to take longer than she thought to shake.
"I don't know," she answers honestly, and she stands up again once he's sitting because she just- she can't be still. The staff comes off and she picks up the form she had abandoned, going through the motions of it as she thinks. "Maybe the Admiral thinks forcing people to experience things like this will change the inmates in some way that will make them better."
He thinks of Lua, sitting here last time, and her saying maybe telling a stranger is better. And Rey doesn't feel like a stranger, feels quite like the opposite right now, but perhaps there was some truth in that. Perhaps telling someone, telling more people, is better.
So he takes a deep breath, watches her as she goes through those motions. "Have you ever had someone like that, Rey?"
So he takes a deep breath, watches her as she goes through those motions. "Have you ever had someone like that, Rey?"
Page 4 of 30